3 tips on how to raise a healthy & mindful teen

I have spent a lot of time focusing on building Sophia’s self-confidence, I believe that is what will make for a healthy and mindful teen. Every day on our drive to school, I ask her questions that I hope she applies to her day. My first question to her is, “ Do you want to be a leader or a follower?” Then, I tell her that she doesn’t need to answer the question- just think about how she will lead and inspire others around her. I tell her that if she can’t, there’s no pressure, just smile big and be happy. By spending time around my child and interacting with her friends, I have learned that children don’t appreciate being told what to do, and how to do it. How do I know this you ask? Well, I looked back and realized that’s exactly how I felt when I was her age. So When being told what to do, the energy they can be putting towards greatness is instead being put toward anger, frustration and the feeling of never being good enough, which ultimately fosters low self-confidence.

1.”TREAT THEM LIKE YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED”

First of all, when I parent, I ask myself how I would want to be treated at that age. I think, as parents, we want the best for our kids, however, our delivery at times SUCKS because we lose patience and we assume that how they go about making their choices, is incorrect. Here is where I say; we don’t give our children enough credit. We forget that they are humans and if they don’t make mistakes, they will never learn. Therefore, we need to allow them to figure things out on their own and be there for the journey while trying our best to lead by example.

2.”DON’T LIVE VICARIOUSLY TROUGH YOUR CHILDREN”

So I choose NOT to live vicariously through my child, but I try very hard to build her confidence, to let her know she can do, and be anything she wants to be, and that MOM is always here to support her without judgment. This is what I  ask Sophia every time she messes up: “WHAT did you learn from this mistake and will you do it again?” I don’t need to think for her. She has a perfectly good brain and I need to let her use it.

  1. “SHOW LOVE AND COMPASSION”

I don’t ground my kid, I don’t take away privileges, and I don’t make her feel worthless or small when she has made a mistake. Instead, I choose to be there for her as a mentor, because I believe, at the end of the day, that’s all we need as humans. We need someone we can look up to and aspire to be like, not someone we cringe at and can’t wait to get away from. My form of punishment is sitting down with her and making her write in her journal. In my opinion, it’s one of the best ways for kids to reconnect with themselves and their thoughts. I find this to be the most powerful punishment 😉

How you raise your children is a big reflection on you. Take a minute to watch your kids. I guarantee if you do, you will see a lot of yourself in them, even the bad. It’s up to you who your child becomes, so let’s allow them to mess up every once in a while and let’s always remember to forgive and love.

Much love,

Elle